Please support my independent campaign to win the hot new reality show, “The Next Pope!”

Frankly, as an outsider running against tradition, I have a few obstacles to overcome such as 1) I’m not Catholic (but I know how to stand and kneel upon command and make the sign of the Cross), 2) I’m not a priest and/or Cardinal at this time but I’m willing to go through emergency training, 3) I like women and having sex with them as often as possible, 4) I look terrible in red robes, and 5) I’m not Catholic nor have I ever been.

However, because like most black people, I’ve always dreamed of living in a big house, having some nice jewelry and clothes and shoes, and riding in a fly car – I LOVE the “Popemobile” – I’m willing to make some sacrifices (just not the sex with women thing) to help the church out in a tough time like this.

Pope Chuck the First. That has a nice ring to it, don’t you agree?


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