Sunday, September 2, 2012

“I know the struggles women face every day. Do you have any idea how much it cost to ship a horse to the Olympics? Or how difficult it is to buy groceries when you don’t know how much the guy running your family’s blind trust transferred to your checking account that morning? Waking up not sure which of your 6 houses you spent the night in? I know the stress and strain of trying to decide what colors to get two Cadillacs in. Laying awake at night, tossing and turning on 1,000 thread count sheets because you don’t know if you should give one of your sons $5 million or $10 million to start his investment fund. I AM the average American woman and you people can trust me and Mitt to continue sharing your pain!”

“A chair, a credenza and President Obama walk into a bar…”

“Stay classy. Don’t mumble. Take your meds 15 minutes before you go onstage. Make sure you have a clean diaper. Be coherent. That’s all I asked that muthafuckin’ Clint to do Thursday night…”

RANDOM THOUGHTS

It’s the biggest night of your political career and you let Clint Eastwood bumble, mumble and stumble his way as your lead-in? Well, maybe that was the plan to make Romney’s speech seem even somewhat coherent.

Ann Romney at the Republican convention talking about families struggling to make ends meet right after flying in from her lakeside estate in NH was absolutely ludicrous, condescending and sad. Other than that…

Being pro-life and war-mongering at the same time takes real duplicity, but Republicans seem up to the task.

I was really looking forward to seeing Clint Eastwood’s new movie later this month, but that was BEFORE Thursday night!

In case you missed Wednesday night’s key speeches at the Republican convention, here’s a summary: Condoleeza Rice’s was nothing more than a repeat of the same tired war-mongering policies she helped plan and implement in the Bush 43 administration. Later, Paul Ryan came out and led a Klan rally full of lies and more lies. Then he lied some more and for all I know, he’s still lying right now. You’re welcome.

It’s that laugh that Ann Romney laughed throughout her convention speech that really scared me. It was if she was signaling that she knew her words were bullshit and that nobody except the hard-core anti-Obama members of the GOP believed them.

Just like the recently concluded Republican convention, there will be white people at the Democrat’s gathering in Charlotte, NC this week. The difference is there won’t be just white people.

Michael Steele makes so much sense in this article that he’s this close to having his “Negro Republican” card pulled.

Mitt Romney and Jay Leno have the same blank look on their faces and in their eyes that says to the viewer, “I have no soul.”

Mitt Romney promised to pull 12 million jobs out of his ass or thin air; I’m not sure which.

Of course Republicans LOVE Condi Rice right now; just wait until they actually have to go into a voting booth and select her name. Then we’ll see just how much they really don’t love her. Speaking of Rice, a big shout-out to Shameeka’s Style Salon and WIC Store in Tampa for squeezing a sista in for a last-minute “press and curl” before her convention speech.

Say what you will about his picking Sarah Palin as his running mate, but compared to Mitt Romney’s open pandering to white voters – “Nobody’s ever asked to see my birth certificate” – John McCain was a paragon of virtue in running against Barack Obama in 2008.

The problem is that neither Romney nor Ryan have any “shame” whatsoever and wouldn’t know the truth if it walked up and kicked them in the balls.

“I really wish I could help you, but I don’t speak ‘poor’. Maybe you can borrow some money from your parents or tap into your trust fund.”

Whether he knows it or not, Mitt Romney is just a seat filler until Jeb Bush runs in 2016.

When Republicans say, “Let’s put parties aside and work together for the good of America”, what they’re really saying is, “Our way or else!”

Whenever I hear Paul Ryan speaking, I think of the infamous words of famed boxing promoter Bob Arum years ago after being caught in a lie by a reporter, “Yesterday I was lying; today I’m telling the truth.”

FINALLY

“Look, let’s be honest with each other; I couldn’t care less about you and your problems if I tried. I’m just here pandering to the white people watching on TV. Why don’t you just go live in one of your other houses; that’s what I would do if I were in your shoes. Well, if you were wearing shoes.”

I’m still trying to figure how Mitt Romney ever won an election. Either he’s completely written off the non-white vote despite the diversity of speakers at last week’s convention, or no one in his organization was smart enough to tell Bobby Jindal, “Hey, we want the candidate to be seen talking with some blacks or Asians or whatever too while he’s in Louisiana.”

I’ve followed Romney’s campaign VERY CLOSELY; he’s had two, count ‘em, TWO appearances with a majority non-white audience this year. One at a charter school in Philadelphia, PA founded by the legendary producer/songwriter Kenneth Gamble and the other at the NAACP convention where, reports said he brought in a group of “black leaders” to support him.

Forget politics and policies folks; we’ve got two VERY DIFFERENT presidential campaigns going this year.