In a shocking move, Mitt Romney’s tax returns that were given to the McCain campaign in 2008 when Romney was being considered for the VP slot, are demanding their release. Speaking from an undisclosed location somewhere in the Cayman Islands on Tuesday afternoon, one of Ann and Mitt Romney’s recent returns, his year blacked out so as to protect his identity, gave The Freeman Flyer an exclusive interview.

FF: Why are you coming forward now and how many years of returns are you speaking for?

TR: Because we’re getting sick and tired of the negative aspersions that are being thrown our way these days. And I’m speaking directly for the 23 returns that were given to McCain’s people in 2008 and indirectly for the others through 2011.

FF: What’s the biggest lie being told about you and your fellow returns by the Obama camp and liberal elitists?

TR: Thanks for asking that question Chuck. No one seems to care about what this is doing to us and our families. I’d say the biggest lie is that there’s something wrong with some, if not all of us. Like we’re covering up something illegal or immoral.

FF: Are there any surprises in you or your fellow returns?

TR: Well, I can only speak for myself, but let’s just say that the Romney are richer than anyone imagines.

FF: How much richer are we talking about?

TR: MUCH richer.

FF: North of $500 million?

TR: Let me put it this way; I know a couple of guys who spent April at the North Pole in fantasy tax camp.

FF: Wow!

TR: And that’s just what I know for sure.

FF: So, what do you want to see happen now or in the next few days?

TR: Well, we’d like for the Romneys to release us. Give us a chance to be seen in the light of day and let the opposition have at us once and for all. Get it over with.

FF: You’re not afraid of the scrutiny that would come if you’re released?

TR: Not at all Chuck. We’re just blank forms until someone fills us in. We’ve done nothing wrong. If there’s bad information on us, we didn’t put it there. Forms don’t fill out forms; people fill out forms.

FF: Well said year ____; well said.

TR: Thank you.


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