“Ring, ring, ring.”

“Hello, Romney residence in New Hampshire. Who’s calling?”

“Hello, this is Danny Chung at Chung Dry Cleaners. Is Meester Mitt home?”

“No Danny, he’s not here. He’s out lying to, excuse me, talking to less fortunate Americans about why they should vote for him. This is Ann Romney, his one and only Mormon wife. I’m taking a break from riding one of my $500,000 dressage horses. Can I help you with something?”

“Well, I was going through the clothes your houseman brought in and in one of the pockets of Meester Romney’s skinny jeans that he likes to wear to make it look like he’s just a ‘regular rich guy named Mitt’, I found some money.”

“How much is it Danny?”

“Well, my wife and kids are still counting, but so far, we’re up to $3 million, six hundred thousand dollars and 75 cents.”

“Hmm, chump change. Okay, well thanks for calling. I’ll send somebody down to retrieve it.”

“Ok. Uh, is there going to be a reward?”

“Tell me Danny, what’s your religion?”

“Me Buddhist. Why?”

“Well Danny, today’s your lucky day. As your reward, when you die, Mitt and I will arrange to have you baptized as a Mormon against your soul’s will. How’s that sound?”

“I’d rather have the money.”

“You must be an Obama supporter. Always looking for a handout. Good bye Danny. (yells) Pepe!”

“Yes Senora R.”

“Take one of my Cadillacs to town and go to Chung’s Dry Cleaning. Danny has a package for me.”


“And don’t forget to take your ‘papers’ this time. You might run into Sherriff Hogg again.”

“Si, si.”


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