KIM KARDASHIAN’S “THINGS TO DO” LIST- 18th Birthday Edition

1. Get subscriptions to Ebony, Jet, Vibe, Hype Hair, Essence, and Sista 2 Sista.
2. Buy DVD of “How To Love A Black Man.”
3. Get bigger lips.
4. Obtain a black ass.
5. Learn how to balance new black ass while walking in 5” heels.
6. Learn the differences between “black”, “bi-racial”, “mixed”, “mulatto”, and “passing.”
7. Learn how to talk with a “full mouth”.
8. Learn how to “love” on-camera.
9. Sign management contract with mother; let her first deny that I have “loved” on-camera, then make deal to earn millions from proof that I’ve “loved” on camera.
10. Whip my ass on unsuspecting black and bi-racial men in music, sports and celebrities circles for wealth and fame.
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