GOOD FRIDAY 2012!

“Yeah, this is the Prez. I’d like to order the weakest Republican opponent possible. (pause) Sure, I’ll hold. (pause) R.O.M.N.E.Y. (pause) Got it. Hey, can I use a ‘Palin for VP’ coupon left over from ’08? (pause) It was worth a try. Thanks, I’ll take it from here.”

 Santorum: “Look, I like Milt as much as anyone can like a Mormon, but he has no spine, no core and no chance of beating Barack Obama or as I like to call him, ‘Romney-Lite’.” Romney: “It’s Mitt, not Milt.” Santorum: “Whatever.” Romney: “I can’t believe I haven’t put this blithering idiot away yet.”

The Wounds of Victory

by Joe Klein

Why Marco Rubio’s Vice-Presidential Stock is Overvalued

Another element ignored in many assessments of the issue is Rubio’s background as a Cuban-American. Whereas Cubans make up a plurality of Latino voters in Florida, 54 percent of the national Latino electorate is Mexican-American. Significant tension exists between the two groups, largely over the asylum status granted to Cubans in the U.S., which has in turn generated a class divide.

Eugene Robinson: “Handicapping Romney’s Potential Running Mates

 The Real World vs The Romney World

Mr Telephone Man

“Santorum. (pause) S.A.N.T.O.R.U.M. (pause) Yes, the crazier than ‘f**k’ who’s running for president. Anyway, I’m trying to check on my order for a 21st Century brain. Yeah, I’ll hold.”

Meghan McCain: Is It Too Late for Mitt Romney and Republicans?

“Right now, I’m in the middle of a 2012 election hangover, where I wonder what exactly has happened to make this election cycle seem like a long journey of lambs to the slaughter. Somewhere between the frighteningly delusional Santorum campaign and Mitt Romney’s incapability of doing anything spontaneous, we are actually having a debate about if birth control should be banned or if women that use birth control are “sluts.” I’ve hit my limit here.”

Customer: “And you are?” Santorum: “Absolutely clueless and delusional about my chances of winning the Republican

nomination for president.” Customer: “Nice to meet you Mr. Gingrich.” Santorum: “It’s Santorum. Rick Santorum.” Customer:

“Whatever.”

Ryan: “Please don’t pick me. I don’t want to be Vice-President.” Romney: “ Don’t worry, it’s not

like I’m going to win.” Both: “Ha, ha, ha! Ain’t that the truth.” Ryan: “But seriously…”

LAUGH NOW BUT THIS COULD BE THE 2016 REPUBLICAN TICKET

Left to right: South Carolina governor Nikki Haley and former Alaska governor Sarah Palin

 

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

“Let’s be honest, [Mormonism] is the core of who Mitt Romney is. He was a missionary in France for two years. He has been a bishop in the church, which, in the Mormon church, is effectively like a priest. Philanthropically, he’s made huge contributions. He’s had a big impact on the church. And yet he doesn’t talk about it. It’s the core of who he is, and yet he doesn’t feel like it’s safe to talk about.” – Meet The Press moderator David Gregory Wednesday on The Tonight show with Jay Leno.

“Nobody thinks Romney’s going to win. Let’s just be honest. Can we just say this for everybody at home? Let me just say this for everybody at home. The Republican establishment — I’ve yet to meet a single person in the Republican establishment that thinks Mitt Romney is going to win the general election this year. They won’t say it on TV because they’ve got to go on TV and they don’t want people writing them nasty emails.” – Co-host Joe Scarborough, on Wednesday’s Morning Joe.

“We have a very difficult economic situation still. The president said today that he’s always believed that it’s the private sector that is the job generator in this country. I agree with him, and I think most Americans agree with him.” – House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) making remarks after Wednesday’s bipartisan signing ceremony for the JOBS Act at the White House, remarks that may raise some eyebrows in both Chicago and Boston. Cantor’s remarks could be seen as inadvertently undercutting one of Mitt Romney’s, who Cantor recently endorsed, main attack lines against the president.

“I think Mitt Romney is the best candidate, but I also think he is an absolutely miserable campaigner.” Pundit and Romney supporter Meghan McCain in The Daily Beast.

“Yeah, well, right now, you know, the focus is, of course, being a good congressional representative. But if someone were to make that call to me, which I really doubt is ever going to happen, you would have to make sure that it is something that God would ordain for you, and you’d have to talk to your wife, my wife and my two daughters about. But we have always stepped up to the plate to serve our country. And if it’s the right fit, then I will do so. But as I said, I really, really much so doubt that that would ever happen.” Representative Allen West (R-FL) to CNN’s Kyra Phillips on his chances of being selected to run as VP on the Republican ticket this year.

“To have those kind of slurs against a woman…you had candidates who want to be our president not say, ‘That’s wrong. That’s offensive…They did not condemn the rhetoric…It makes no sense to make this attack on women. If you don’t feel this is an attack, you need to go home and talk to your wife and your daughters.” – Senator Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) in comments recorded by a local newspaper in Alaska, Murkowski criticized her fellow Republicans on the issue of women’s rights, saying they weren’t quick enough to denounce Rush Limbaugh for his “slut” comments and that they’ve handled the issue of contraception poorly. Murkowski, who favors abortion rights, accused fellow GOPers of ‘attack on women’.  Ouch. These are the kind of comments that will make this issue even tougher for the GOP to shake.

“I’m more ‘spiritual’ than I am religious.” – Anyone trying to explain why they don’t attend church regularly.

“Hoes, female and male, need love too.” Former pimp turned social commentator Bobby Midnite responding to rumors this week that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are dating.

WHAT WE LEARNED THIS WEEK

President Obama is really in Mitt Romney’s head these days.

South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley is armed and dangerous.

David Gregory has some other skills.

Rhianna is THIS close to saying, “It was my fault Chris Brown beat me.”

Newt Gingrich’s business “empire” is crumbling beneath his ridiculous quest for the presidency.

Dwight Howard is as classless and duplicitous a pro athlete that there’s ever been, and considering the past, that’s saying something.

If this is even remotely true, Gregg Williams has coached his last game in the NFL.

Mitt Romney has no intention whatsoever of revealing anything about the money he made and still makes through his holdings with Bain Capital that the law doesn’t explicitly require him to.

NEWS

How the Supreme Court Ended Up On the Ropes   

Matt Lauer Megabucks Contract Deal

The Jacksons Reunite for Unity Summer Tour

Left to Right: Jackie, Marlon, Tito and even Jermaine Jackson

Magic & McCourt at Petco Park

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Bobby Valentine: The Keith Olberman of Baseball

Stan Van Gundy Goes Rogue 

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Based on her performance this week on the Today show, if, and that’s a big IF, Sarah Palin wanted to do morning TV, with the right show and producers, she could be a big star at it.

It doesn’t matter who the Clippers draft, sign or trade for, when it comes to the NBA, Los Angeles belongs to the Lakers and probably always will.

Keith Olberman is as big a pain in the ass now as he was years ago at ESPN (and anywhere else he’s worked).

Lionel Richie is still a star.

Why Rick Santorum, who lost his last election for the Senate (2006) in Pennsylvania by a record 18% points, expects to win the Republican primary there later this month defies logic, even for him.

Wouldn’t it have been shocking if cocaine wasn’t involved in Whitney Houston’s death?

JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT

LA Clipper Blake Griffin abuses Laker Pau Gasol at the Staples Center on April 4, 2012.

LOVELY ONE

NBC’s Tamron Hall

ZITS

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