Monday, January 2, 2012

“I love the Lord. He heard my cry. And pitied every groan. Long as I live and troubles rise, I’ll hasten to his throne.”

The Mormon Card

“Gee willikers. My ‘magic Mormon underpants’ are bunching up at the gosh-darndest worst time!”

The Worst Presidential Campaign Ever?

“This way is up, right?”

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Watching the Republican Party attack Newt Gingrich has been breathtaking and his reaction to the drive-by shootings, so to speak, absolutely hee-la-ree-ous: “I, I, I, don’t know why everybody hates me so much. I mean, yeah, I’m rich, smarter than everyone else in the world  – go ahead, ask me anything – and have a semi-beautiful wife whose face is frozen, but, have you taken a good look at me lately? I’m still a fat toad named Newton.”

Memo to Newt Gingrich: this (Iowa) is what happens when you’ve spent a lifetime being an insufferable prick.

Mitt Romney is the real-life version of “Gordon Gecko”; nothing more, nothing less.

I don’t know what’s funnier; that Rick Santorum might win the Iowa caucuses or that Rick Santorum actually believes that he might win the Iowa Caucus.

Speaking of Santorum, what is it with Republicans who’ve never spent a single moment serving in the military always wanting to bomb a country – Iran in Rick’s wet dream of being Commander in Chief – and fighting wars all the time?

The GOP candidates inspire more yawns than awe.

The best news show on Sunday morning for my money is FOX News Sunday and second place isn’t even close. Oh sure, David Gregory is putting his own stamp on NBC’s Meet The Press, CBS’s Face the Nation is as classy and informative as ever and George Stephanopoulos is riding to the rescue of ABC’s This Week, but for my money, NOTHING compares to the weekly whining of Chris Wallace, Britt Hume’s latest hissy fit – think a much prissier Andy Rooney with an air of imperialism – Liz Cheney’s trying to be the son that Dick Cheney always wanted, Bill Kristol trying to hide his inner-Nazi long enough to appear almost human and Juan Williams’ desperate attempt to resemble an African-American and man, what a show!

I miss Herman “Cornbread” Cain.

The Jets and Rex “Slim” Ryan’s going home without a Super Bowl ring again is getting to be my favorite NFL end-of-the season story.

There’s a side of me that LOVED the Chargers beating the hated Raiders Sunday – I hate the Raiders so much that if the Raiders were playing an all-star team of Nazis and Klansmen, I’d give the points and take the all-stars – and there’s another side that fears the win may mean GM A. J. Smith and head coach Norvell Turner keep their jobs for another season and the thought of that is more depressing than that of the next Tyler Perry movie.

The Tim Tebow Show is almost over, thank God. (Pun fully intended)

Psst, don’t tell anyone but the OKC Thunder are 5-0.

Whether he or the Lakers want to admit it, Kobe Bryant’s wrist injury is affecting his shooting.

Speaking of the Lakers, this may be a minority opinion but, I wouldn’t trade Andrew Bynum for Dwight Howard unless there was a loaded and cocked gun at my head.

Another NBA braided hair icon bites the dust: Miami’s Udonis (what the hell were his parents thinking?) Haslem has cut his hair.

FINALLY

I believe that President Barack Obama is the best person to lead America forward at this time. I haven’t heard anything from a single Republican candidate that makes me think anything different. From my perspective, any of the Republicans running, except for Jon Huntsman who has the misfortune of being totally sane at a time when his party is looking for crazier than a loon, would be a total disaster, both at home and abroad, for America.

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