Tuesday, November 1, 2011

‘I Don’t Recall’.. ‘I Don’t Recollect’.. ‘I Can’t Honestly Remember’

“For goodness sakes, take a look at ‘dem cakes”


For someone who wants to be president of the United States, Herman Cain sure doesn’t know or remember a lot of things – “I don’t recall by whom the [sexual harassment] charges were found baseless. I don’t remember if it was by attorneys getting together. I don’t remember if we had outside attorneys. I can’t tell you how they were determined by being baseless,” Herman Cain said to PBS’ Judy Woodruff on Monday. I don’t know about you, but I think I’d remember the details of something like this unless of course, they were just one of several cases and I couldn’t keep them straight!

Say you’re the CEO of a business organization and sexual harassment charges are made against you. Years later, while running for public office or even being considered for another high-profile position, stories arise about the incidents and you say that you don’t know how the “case” was settled or if there was a payment/s made to the accuser/s. You’re either incompetent or a bold-faced liar – take your pick.

First, it was “I’se do not know nothing ’bout no settlement payment” (or thereabouts) to now, “Well, now that I rack my brain, I seems to recall ‘somebody’ paying them triflin’ little hussies a few dollars to go away” (or thereabouts). When will politicians learn to tell the whole truth the FIRST time and just get things out of the way? And if you can’t tell the whole truth from ‘jump street’, just shut the f**k up until you’re ready to do so. Capiche?

Last Herman Cain thing: If he were a real pimp, he’d have the balls to play James Brown’s “Sex Machine” as his entrance music at all of his campaign events.

Why do I think Conrad Murray’s heavy accent is going to play a big part in the decision to have him testify in his trial?

Every time I see the ad for the new film Like Crazy, I think to myself, “Whatever happened to black films like Love Jones?”

Am I the only one who cringed at the announcement of a new In Living Color? What’s next, a new Arsenio Hall Show?

I’m not sure who I’m more tired of between Beyonce, Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga but all three are getting on my last MFing nerve!

Question: What does Santa Claus say when Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian walk into the room? Answer: “Ho, ho, ho.” But seriously, why is it okay for Kim Kardashian to marry Kris Humphries a few weeks after they met only to file for divorce 72 days later, but gay people who’ve known and lived with each other for YEARS, can’t? Can anyone explain the fairness of that?

Tony LaRussa looks weird in “civilian clothing.” And what’s with his hair?

I’m this close to writing the Chargers off for this season.

Whatever happened to Javier Colon? 



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