Friday, October 21, 2011

President Obama Announces Iraq Troop Withdrawal

“Today I can say that our troops in Iraq will definitely be home for the holidays.”

This Time, It’s Personal!

Romney: “Now look here, ‘Pretty Ricky’…”  Perry: “Take your illegal immigrant hiring hand off me before I break the muthaf**ker in half!” 

“WHO WANTS TO LOSE TO OBAMA IN 2012?”

Herman Hears A ‘What The Hell Is He Talking About?

Say Goodnight Michele 

10 THINGS THAT WILL HAPPEN BEFORE HERMAN CAIN WINS THE REPUBLICAN NOMINATION

10) Kim Kardashian “dates” a white non-athlete or musician.

  9) Ted Danson hosts the BET Awards in blackface.

  8) Louis Farrahkahn named senior rabbi of Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles.

  7) Oprah and Gayle get married.

  6) Tiger Woods dates Laquesha Monet Washington of Compton.

  5) ABC, CBS, FOX or NBC air show starring an African-American family.

  4) John McCain admits “I used my ‘little head’ to select Sarah Palin as my running mate.”

  3) George W. Bush apologizes to America: “I’m sorry I f**ked up the country for eight years.”

  2) Tyler Perry wins Best Actor Oscar.

  1) Clippers win the NBA title!

“People need to know that I’m still the craziest black person to ever run for president and in the days to come, I’ll be proving it almost hourly.”

THEY SAID IT

“One of the world’s longest-serving dictators is no more. The dark shadow of tyranny has been lifted.” – President Barack Obama addressing the death of Muammar Gaddafi at a press conference on Thursday.

“Well, look, Sean, you know, it’s very important for us to remember that the goal of this effort is to defeat Barack Obama and get America back on the right track — the goal of this entire project isn’t have one ego or one ambition over another and then go get beaten by the president because we have beaten each other up so much. Once or twice last night, the level of intensity, particularly between Governors Perry and Romney, got to be almost like seventh graders in a school yard.” – GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich Wednesday on FOX News’ The Sean Hannity Show. In a further display of his chronic narcissism, Gingrich went on to say that ‘He said he was running a “substantive campaign” based on ideas different from any other candidate “except maybe Reagan.”

“Having a Republican leader of Governor Palin’s stature and importance is yet again proof of the crucial role Florida will play as the year unfolds. We are so grateful that Governor Palin has accepted our invitation.” Republican Party of Florida Chairman Lenny Curry in a statement announcing that former Alaska governor Sarah Palin will be the keynote speaker at the RPOF’s 2011 Victory Dinner on November 3 in Orlando. Gee Lenny, exactly what is Governor Palin’s “stature and importance” these days?

The New York Times: “For the second time in 10 days, the Senate on Thursday rejected Democratic efforts to take up a jobs bill championed by President Obama. The vote to advance the bill was 50 to 50. Democrats needed 60 votes to overcome a Republican filibuster.

The week’s top quotes in politics…

“Don’t screw around with me.” — Vice President Joe Biden getting heated with a reporter on Wednesday.

“Wow.” — Secretary of State Hillary Clinton upon learning that Muammar Qadhafi had been killed.

“I’m running for office, for Pete’s sake. I can’t have illegals.” — Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney talking about his lawn care workers at Tuesday night’s debate.

“I misspoke.” — GOP 2012 candidate Herman Cain backtracking on a comment about prisoner exchanges.

“Bo says hi.” — President Barack Obama passing along a message to a dog in North Carolina, according to a White House pool report.

“I must say again I have never seen an uglier bus than a Canadian one.” — Sen. John McCain dissing President Obama’s wheels.

“He doesn’t like that as much.” — First lady Michelle Obama explaining how the president feels about his daughters watching “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” according to iVillage.com.

“You’re headed for a one-term presidency.” — Apple co-founder Steve Jobs, as quoted in Walter Isaacson’s upcoming book, advising Obama at meeting last year.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Face it folks: the Republicans in Congress have absolutely no intention of passing anything that they feel would help the president’s reelection chances no matter how many jobs for Americans would be created. They and their corporate masters are more than willing and able to sacrifice the American people to advance their nefarious agenda. It’s really that simple.

I wasn’t there but I can tell you how Moamar Kadafi died: painfully.

We’re this close to “Pretty Ricky” Perry and Mitt “Suge” Perry talking about each other’s mama at the next GOP hate-fest (debate).

Things got so heated during Thursday night’s debate, Herman Cain didn’t get as many chances to say, “I don’t know” and “I’se do not care” as he hoped to.

Michele “Kelly” Bachmann and Newt “3 Wives and Counting” Gingrich, who are apparently running just to be running now, are on the verge of doing something REALLY crazy in order to garner attention for their rapidly fading “campaigns.” Too bad Bachmann’s in her mid-50s, otherwise, Gingrich would probably take her and Ms. Callista on a 3-way shopping spree at Tiffany’s before returning to a local Holiday Inn and offering them a chance to “thank him” for his generosity.

Bradley Cooper – you need to call Ben Affleck ASAP and have a talk with him about the difficulty an “Average White Movie Star” such as yourself is going to have trying to date Jennifer “La Bambita” Lopez before you get hurt, mentally and physically. Dude, if you couldn’t handle mousy Renee Zellweger (although she does have great legs), there’s no way on God’s semi-green earth that you are ready for all that AZZ and the “drama” that goes along with dating “Jenny From The Block.”

That loud sucking sound you heard late Thursday night was the air being let out of the NBA season. By the way, Bryant Gumbel is 1000% correct with his comments about David Stern and I’ll bet you dollars to donuts, many current NBA players agree with him.

Hey, I know the Raiders were pretty much made in the late Al Davis’s image and that he’s one of the forces that shaped the NFL into the juggernaut it is today, but an eternal flame in his honor at the Oakland Coliseum seems just a tad pretentious even for a very pretentious person.

 

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