Sunday, October 16, 2011

L-R Rangers manager Ron Washington, Michael Young and Nelson Cruz

Somebody’s Lying

Bachmann May Need To Raise Her Own Debt Ceiling 

Can Herman Cain Sing His Way to the Nomination?

“Take my hand, come with me to ‘Cainland’. I want you to float, float on.”

Do GOP candidates lack the “Common Touch?”

WHAT HE SAID

“I don’t care whether you’re Republican, whether you’re independent, whether you’re Democrat, I want to get your vote. But I’m going to tell you right at the outset, I’m not going to pander. I’m not going to sign meaningless pledges, and I’m not going to journey to New York to meet with Donald Trump.” – GOP presidential candidate Jon Huntsman told about 100 New Hampshire Rotary Club members one recent day.

WHAT HE DIDN’T SAY

“I’m not going to be the Republican nominee for president in 2012.” 

WHO AM I?

WHAT HE SAID

“I am running because I want to win, not because I’m trying to raise my profile or get a TV show.” – Herman Cain, Republican presidential candidate, after speaking during a Faith and Freedom Coalition rally at Ohio Christian University.

WHAT HE DIDN’T SAY

“I’m not going to be the Republican nominee for president unless all of my opponents and everyone else eligible in the party dies first. And even then, it’s not going to happen.”

AND HERE’S WHY IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

Keep in mind, this was an actual exchange between David Gregory and Herman Cain on Sunday’s Meet The Press:

DAVID GREGORY: A few more, just some quick ones here. On immigration, you said at an event in Tennessee that you would build an electrified fence on the border that could kill people if they try to cross illegally.

HERMAN CAIN:
That’s a joke, David.

DAVID GREGORY:
It’s a joke? So that was–

HERMAN CAIN:
It’s a joke. That’s a joke.

DAVID GREGORY:
That’s not a serious plan?

HERMAN CAIN:
That’s not a serious plan, no, it’s not.

DAVID GREGORY:
You got a big laugh out of that–

HERMAN CAIN:
That’s a joke.

DAVID GREGORY:
–but that’s not what you would do?

HERMAN CAIN:
That’s a joke. I’ve also said America needs to get a sense of humor. That was a joke, okay?

THEY SAID IT

GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain raised more questions about his knowledge of foreign policy on Sunday, saying he doesn’t know anything about the “neoconservative movement,” which dominated the eight years of the Bush administration. When David Gregory, the host of NBC’s Meet The Press tasked Cain whether he was a “neoconservative,” the presidential hopeful admitted he had no idea what Gregory was talking about. “I’m not sure what you mean by neoconservative,” said Cain. “I am a conservative, yes. Neoconservative — labels sometimes will put you in a box. I’m very conservative.” “But you’re familiar with the neoconservative movement?” asked Gregory.”I’m not familiar with the neoconservative movement,” admitted Cain. “I’m familiar with the conservative movement. Let me define what I mean by the conservative movement — less government, less taxes, more individual responsibility.”

“Trust me; y’all ain’t got no clue of what I’m not familiar with!”

“Rick Perry’s numbers are down because his debate performances have been extremely less than spectacular, and I’m being charitable,” said former Arkansas governor and current FOX News talk show host Mike Huckabee, continuing a fractious relationship with Perry. “Gov. Perry started at the top … but his repeat debate performances and the fact that he has not been able to find his footing on some key issues has just made people start looking elsewhere…It’s not about religion. It’s about the fact that running for president is like sticking your face in the blade of a fan,” Huckabee said. “Don’t try that at home. … It’s not pretty but folks, running for president is not a chess game; it is a full contact sport played without pads.”

POSSIBLE HERMAN CAIN CAMPAIGN SLOGANS

“I’se Do Not Know”, “I’se Do Not Care”, “I’m Not Familiar With That”

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Based on the here, there, everywhere, helter, skelter way Herman “The Godfather of Soul Pizza” Cain is running his campaign these days, I’d swear he’s hearing “voices” in his head. That or his campaign’s GPS unit is malfunctioning. Either way…

According to Herman Cain on his “9-9-9” plan: “I’m right and everyone else is wrong!”

Speaking of Cain, I can see why he was such a success in the restaurant business; he knows how to give an audience what they want and right now, his audience wants their African-American candidate to sing and shuck and jive his way to the nomination. You know, the “anti-Obama.”

I’m not a campaign finance expert nor do I play one on TV, but, if your credit line at Tiffany’s – $1 million dollars – is higher than the amount you raised during the latest reporting period – Gingrich raises $807K – you just might want to bow out gracefully now before your campaign becomes a total joke. Oops, too late for that!

Speaking of “finances”, here’s a trailer for a film that I can’t wait to see “Margin Call”.

Three “celebrities” I’m tired of seeing or hearing about for totally different yet similar reasons: Bill Clinton, Lady Gaga and Lindsay Lohan. I wish all of them would just go away and disappear from public view. Preferably together at the same time.

To paraphrase David Letterman: I wouldn’t give Conrad Murray’s troubles to a monkey on a rock.

Just my opinion of course, but noted sportswriter Rick Reilly has outdone himself with this objective look at both sides of the recently departed Al Davis.

Speaking of noted sportswriters, Bill “The Sports Guy” Simmons has said it all when it comes the NBA lockout and the Red Sox implosion.

FINALLY

Right now, Lindsay Lohan couldn’t get hired to star in The Lindsay Lohan Story on a third-rate Armenian public-access cable network.

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