Saturday, October 1, 2011


First Lady Michelle Obama, wearing a hat and sunglasses, leaves a Target store in Alexandria, Va., after doing some shopping. (Charles Dharapak / Associated Press / September 29, 2011)

Christie 2012: What stands in his way

NJ Governor Chris “Donuts” Christie – This is not what the next POTUS will look like.


I write this as a person who’s working to lose weight. You can’t look like this and run for president. The pace and strain of a presidential campaign puts a tremendous amount of stress on even the healthiest candidates. I know a lot of people will take this the wrong way and accuse me of being morbid and some will say as an Obama supporter, I’m afraid of the New Jersey governor, but Chris Christie will die if he runs for president weighing as much as he does now. And I’ll bet you his doctor has told him the same thing.

I’ve been saying it for months, and nothing’s happened in recent weeks to change my mind: when it’s all said and done, the Republicans aren’t going to entrust what they feel is a real chance to defeat President Obama to any “crazy-ass person” (Bachmann, Cain, Gingrich, Palin, Paul and now Perry). Mitt Romney will be the GOP’s nominee for 2012.

Speaking of “crazy-ass” people, I’m having a hard time trying to decide which current Republican candidate is the most delusional: Michelle “Kelly” Bachmann who doesn’t think the US Supreme Court should “be deciding our laws”,  Herman “The Godfather of Soul Pizza” Cain who seems to believe that an African-American can actually win the party’s nomination after the failure of the “Michael Steele Experiment”, Newt “3 Wives So Far” Gingrich who has no money, no ideas and no clue, Jon “Puffy” Huntsman whose main attribute seems to be a rational, logical, pragmatic approach to life which is the complete opposite of what the so-called Tea Party wants to hear these days, Ron “Senior Crazy” Paul who reminds me of Dr. Jack Kerkovian, Rick “Snowball’s Chance In Hell” Santorum and last but surely not least in the “I’m Crazier Than You Can Even Possibly Imagine” category, “Pretty Ricky” Perry. Meanwhile, some people feel that Chris “Donuts” Christie is the answer and Sarah “Beyonce” Palin still may run just out of spite.

GOP debate crowds so far have been angry, vindictive, cruel and virtually lily-white. Well, except for Herman Cain.

Of course there are those on the right criticizing First Lady Michelle Obama’s visit to a Washington, DC area Target store this week First Lady’s retail therapy targeted – it’s what the Obama enemies do best: hate any and everything the president and his wife do, no matter what it is.

No one’s really surprised by Bank-of-America announcing that beginning early next year, they’re going to charge a $5 monthly fee for using debit cards, are they? The only surprise to me is that it’s taken this long for this to happen.

Of course Dr. Conrad Murray was “frantic” – he’d just killed Michael Jackson! (Allegedly.)

I bet more white people can tell you a song by Maze than black people can tell you one by Pearl Jam.

So far, the music is the best part of “The Playboy Club.” 

We could have found Osama bin Laden YEARS AGO if the government had hired Byron Allen. He can find comedians for his show, Comics Unleashed, that no one’s seen or heard of in ages. Hell, I’ll bet some of them didn’t know they were still alive until Allen’s producers contacted them.

To Whom It May Concern: Please, Please, Please stop running J-Lo’s Fiat commercial. I beg of you.

While I’d root for a team made up of Klansmen and Nazis before I’d root for one from Boston, I must give respect to former Red Sox manager Terry Francona who won and lost with class, dignity and respect. A hat tip to “Tito” as he leaves Boston with his head held high.

How Not To Grow Your Sport During The Play-offs – MLB Style  It’s the first weekend of the playoffs and after a season of Saturday games on FOX, not a single game is on broadcast TV. Not one!

More cable control of sports – If you live in Los Angeles and don’t have cable or a satellite dish, you can’t watch either UCLA (a public institution) or USC play on TV this weekend.

I’m sure they mean well Congressional panel urges NFL to test for HGH story, but I really wish they’d concentrate on things like job creation instead.

Congratulations to Matt Kemp – .324 batting average (3rd in NL), 39 homers (1st), 126 RBIs (1st) and 40 steals (2nd) – on the finest season a Dodger’s had in the last 40 years. Kemp, who played in all of the team’s 161 games (one was rained out), also had 11 outfield assists which means he will most likely receive the Gold Glove to go along with his Silver Slugger Award on Opening Day 2012. (A big assist to 1st base coach Davey Lopes for his role in Kemp’s MVP-caliber season).

As a former Staples Center usher with plenty of friends who still work there, I hope and pray that the NBA lockout is settled soon.

Turns out I’m actually “under-tall” for my weight! -:)



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