HAPPY 4TH OF JULY 2011!!!!!!!!!!!

RANDOM THOUGHTS

As the great Don King likes to say, only in America would you find an elected official refer to something in the Constitution as ‘Crazy Talk’ as Senator John Cornyn of Texas – what is it with crazy-ass Texas Republicans these days? – did on FOX News (Gomer Pyle voice: “Surprise, surprise!”) Sunday in rejecting one solution to the debt limit impasse being floated by Democrats that argues the president has the authority to ignore the ceiling because it is unconstitutional under the 14th Amendment.

I’m not an attorney nor do I play one on TV or online, but, me thinks that if your lawyer finds it necessary to use the words “lying, no-good slut” when referring to you during his summation to the jury as Casey Anthony’s attorney did Sunday, that’s probably NOT a good thing.

I just don’t know which is more fun: watching Mitt “Suge” Romney” pretend to be happy about Michelle “Kelly” Bachmann’s joining the race and forcing him to reconsider his decision to tread (and spend) lightly in Iowa, Jon “Puffy” Huntsman disappear over the holiday weekend, Newt “3 Wives So Far” Gingrich sink lower and lower in each Republican poll, Herman “Godfather of soul Pizza” Cain making MC Michael Steele look like Louis Farrakhan, Tim “Mr Charisma” Pawlenty trying to explain why he’s the right choice to be president even though the state he was governor of until very recently is officially “Closed” during the 4th of July weekend because his last two budgets have resulted in a government shutdown or waiting for Bachmann’s next history lesson.

Speaking of governors – I wasn’t but go with the flow people – I’m looking forward to the next time Chris “Donuts” Christie and New Jersey Senate President Stephen Sweeney run into each other after Sweeney said “I Want To Punch Him In His Head”.

Irony, or karma, thy name is a NY motorcyclist dying on ride protesting helmet law when he flipped over the bike’s handlebars and hitting his head on the pavement. But, as I’m sure the so-called Tea Party will point out, it was his right to not wear a helmet that officials say would have probably saved his life. Is this a great country or what?

Surely I can’t be the only one who just doesn’t get the whole media fawning over William and Kate thing, right? I mean, what have either one of them done to warrant such extensive coverage.

Given the chance, I wonder if the Reverends Billy Graham and Robert Schuller would change their decisions to turn their ministries over to their sons instead of their daughters a few years ago.

Honestly, other than Sarah “Beyonce” Palin, is there a bigger media whore among politicians than former President Bill Clinton?

I don’t know why, but food tastes better when eaten outside.

Geez Louise Beyonce, can we get a chance to miss you for at least six minutes or so?

I’m late to the Men of a Certain Age party because I currently don’t have cable, but I’ve been catching up online and what a great show! Kudos to Ray Romano for going completely opposite to Everybody Loves Raymond in returning to series TV and for having the only realistic portrayal of an intact African-American family in a current show (Andre Braugher and LisaGay Hamilton).

While I can’t decide if Friday Night Lights or Glee has the oldest looking high-school students on a current network TV show, neither will ever come close to catching the original 90210 for first place in the category.

I’m as big a Derek Jeter fan as you will find outside of the five boroughs, but he doesn’t deserve being in this year’s American League All-Star Game as a reserve, let alone starting in it.

Matt Kemp is having a first-class season on a last-place team As a lifelong Dodger fan and a HUGE fan of Kemp, I’m ecstatic that he’s the starting centerfielder for the National League in the upcoming All-Star Game. However, I don’t think a Most Valuable Player should come from a last-place (the Dodgers’ current position in the NL West) team. Player of the Year – sure, but not MVP. I mean, they’re in last place with you! What, they’d be in “really, really last place” without you?

Frankly, I’m not a bit surprised that the first time we hear about Kobe Bryant in regards to the current NBA lockout is him looking for a way to make money during it, Kobe Bryant might take part in exhibition tour of China. It’s too bad that he doesn’t use his stature in the game to help improve things for his fellow players, but I guess it’s hard to change a life-long pattern of being concern first and foremost about those people named Kobe Bean Bryant.

I’m not saying this is the dumbest decision by an athlete Shannon Brown terminates final year of contract with Lakers during a lockout ever – that distinction remains firmly in the grip of former major league second baseman Jody Reed who turned down a GUARANTEED $7.8 million dollar contract from the Dodgers after the 1993 season The $7.8-Million Man– Not : Jody Reed, Playing With Brewers for a Guaranteed $350,000 – but it’s pretty damn close. Oh well, I guess he can live off his wife Monica’s album royalties.

Even if Frank McCourt somehow manages to hold on to the Dodgers through his bankruptcy ploy, he has lost the Dodgers’ fan base forever Letters: Their money’s not on Frank McCourt.

Raise your hand if you saw this coming. Nike re-signs Vick to endorsement deal

PAGING RICK “SNOWBALL’S CHANCE IN HELL” SANTORUM! YOUR “CAMPAIGN”, SUCH AS IT IS, AND YOUR SUPPORTER, ARE LOOKING FOR YOU!

JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT!

“Oy vey. I’m too old for this mishigas.”

 FINALLY

Happy 60th Birthday to EWF’s Ralph Johnson!

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