Friday, June 17, 2011

THE ROAD TO THE WHITE HOUSE – 2012 I personally believe it’s going to come down to the economy and where it is a year from today, but exactly what are Republicans looking for – a “perfect” candidate? – among those who aren’t already in the race. Jon Huntsman WORKED for the president, Chris Christie is a corpulent, sweating first-term governor whose popularity at home is dropping faster than Anthony Weiner’s underpants, Rick Perry is a governor who openly and proudly flirted with the idea of his state seceding from the Union two years ago, Rudy Giuliani couldn’t win a primary if it was held in his own home and the most fawned over Republican politician in recent memory, Sarah Palin, is an ignorant quitter who, if she somehow actually won the GOP nomination, would run the funniest, and not in a good “ha, ha, ha” kind of way, (think “Oh my God, did she really say that out loud?”) campaign ever. If I were advising the GOP, and frankly, no one has asked me to, here’s what I’d tell them: “You people need to come to your senses, forget about his being a Mormon and having passed Romneycare, and throw everything you’ve got behind Mitt “Suge” Romney right now so he can spend the next 16 months gathering support and honing his economic message against President Obama.” Fortunately, for Democrats and America, they’re too stupid to do that and so, we’ll get to watch people like Michelle “Kelly” Bachmann, Herman “Godfather of Soul Pizza” Cain, Newt “3 Wives So Far” Gingrich, Ron “Senior Crazy” Paul, Tim “Mr Charisma” Pawlenty and Rick “Snowball’s Chance In Hell” Santorum crisscross America in their quest to lose to Barack Obama on November 6, 2012.

NEW MITT ROMNEY BUMPER STICKER: “RomneyCare – Good; ObamaCare – Bad”

GOP BUMPER STICKER – “Our Wars – Good for America; Obama’s Wars – Bad for America”

I assume that there have been worse presidential campaigns in the long history of American politics, but for the life of me, I can’t imagine one in recent times being as bad as Newton Leroy Gingrich’s current one Newt Gingrich Criticizes Departed Staffers, NBC News, For Bashing His Wife.

Joss Stone? Why in the world would anyone want to kidnap Joss Stone? I mean, sure, she’s not the greatest fake soul-singer in the world and she may or may not have slept with Raphael Saadiq, but when did either of those acts become a crime?

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