Sunday, April 10, 2011

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

“For too long, Washington has not been honest with the American people. We owe it to the country to give them an honest debate…We’re not just here so we can get this lapel pin that says we’re a member of Congress. We are here to try and fix this country’s problems.” – House Budget Committee chairman Paul Ryan on Wednesday, April 5, unveiling an ambitious package, The Path to Prosperity, designed to dig the country out of its crippling debt crisis.

“[His plan] will completely transform the fiscal debate. It will either be a brilliant blaze that illuminates Republican courage or a roaring fire that immolates the party in a spectacular political suicide.” –  Republican political consultant Mark McKinnon on Ryan’s plan.

“The Ryan budget will not be enacted this year, but it will immediately reframe the domestic policy debate…It will become the 2012 Republican platform, no matter who is the nominee…It also creates the pivotal moment of truth for President Obama. Will he come up with his own counterproposal, or will he simply demagogue the issue by railing against ‘savage’ Republican cuts and ignoring the long-term fiscal realities?” – New York Times columnist David Brooks

“Representative Paul Ryan’s budget proposal is, without question, an act of political courage.” – Time.com’s Joe Klein.

“I saw Donald Trump kind of rising in some polls and given his behavior and spectacle the last couple of weeks, I hope he keeps on rising. There is zero chance that Donald Trump would ever be hired by the American people to do this job.” – Senior White House adviser David Plouffe weighing in on the presidential ambitions of Donald Trump on ABC’s “This Week” on Sunday.

“When you have a fight with Gary Busey and you come off as the crazy one, it’s a wake-up call.” – Singer Meat Loaf explaining why he sought psychiatric help after his profane meltdown on The Celebrity Apprentice.

To paraphrase the late, great Tim Russert: We now know who the 2012 Republican nominee won’t be. It won’t be Michelle Bachmann (too crazy), Haley Barbour (too Boss Hoggish), Jeb Bush (unless he changes his last name to something less polarizing like Hitler or Stalin), Herman Cain (too “Herman Cain”), Mitch Daniels (Rick Santorum without the craziness or warmth), Newt Gingrich (too toadish, too many religions and wives-3 of each), Rudy Giuliani (too Rudy G even for New Yorkers now), Mike Huckabee (too much new house in Florida to pay for and he’s also scarily crazy in a fundamentalist religious sort of way), Jon Huntsman (his last job reference is Barack Obama), Sarah Palin (far too dumb and insane) or Rick Santorum (too everything that’s wrong with today’s GOP). And there’s a better chance of the new “Madea” movie sweeping next year’s Oscars than there is of it being Donald Trump either. Or as William Grueskin, dean of academic affairs for the Columbia Journalism School recently said, “Out of this campaign coverage, all you get is a lot of empty media moments about someone [Trump] who is unlikely to run, more unlikely to be nominated, and utterly unlikely to win.”

What we don’t know at this point is who it will be. In fact, as of today, we don’t even know who’s actually running for the GOP nomination. This time four years ago, five Democrats – Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, Chris Dodd, John “Baby Daddy” Edwards, and Barack Obama – had formally declared their candidacies. This time around, only Tim “Mr Personality” Pawlenty, the charisma-deficient former two-term governor of Minnesota, has even formed so much as an exploratory committee.

So, who does that leave in the driver’s seat in the race to the GOP nomination? Well, Mitt “Magic Mormon Underpants” Romney has been running a very well organized and funded stealth campaign since January 2009. In fact, with his buying houses in New Hampshire  and La Jolla, CA (what is it with Republicans and owning a bunch of houses?), he can lay claim to being a resident of several key campaign states – no word on if he’s bought condos in Iowa and South Carolina yet – and his PACs are continuously disbursing funds to Republican candidates and state committees across the country. But, my dark horse is House Majority Leader Eric Cantor who is in the perfect slot right now. Cantor can just lay in the cut and assess the campaign from a distance all the while positioning himself as an alternative candidate.

All in all, it looks like 2012 is going to be almost as interesting as 2008 was.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

 “His (Senator Jon Kyl of Arizona) remark was not intended to be a factual statement” might just be the most outrageous thing an elected official has said since Richard Nixon’s “I am not a crook!”

The media’s rush to make New Jersey’s first-term governor, Chris “Chubb Rock” Christie, a “King (or Queen) Maker” in the Republican presidential candidate is laughable at best and ludicrous at worst.

Shouldn’t the dozen or so House members who regularly sleep in their offices and use the shower facilities in the chamber’s gym be charged rent for living in the Capitol building? Just asking.

As long as one of the first things you see when you go to his official website is an ad for ties and ascots, Roland S. Martin will be nothing more than a go-to commentator on “Black issues” and a constantly on the lookout for another buck hustler.

Is Hollywood going to release ANY good movies this year?

So, it turns out that Charlie Sheen does need Chuck Lorre and his writing staff after all.

If the new Just For Men commercial (the one where Emmitt “Mumbles” Smith doesn’t have any lines) was any cornier, it would need melted butter and black pepper.

Somebody who loves him – maybe his current (third) wife – needs to tell the 54 year-old Steve Harvey that he ain’t fooling N.O.B.O.D.Y. with that dyed black as the coal pulled out of the hills of his native West Virginia moustache of his.

Shouldn’t first-year Dodger manager Don Mattingly be on former Dodger star Davey Lopes’ coaching staff and not the other way around? Speaking of the Dodgers, the sooner the McCourts can be called “the former owners of the Dodgers”, the better.

Is the NFL lockout still going on?

What does it say about me that I’d much rather watch an early-season game between the Dodgers and Padres today than the Celtics-Heat game or the final round of the Masters?

Is Shaquille O’Neal still alive?

Juwan Howard is the “Dorian Grey” of the NBA. He simply never ages.

Rest in peace Larry Finch.

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