Sunday, October 10, 2010

At the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation's annual legislative conference last month, President Obama implores black voters to turn out in force for the midterm elections.

“Just as it is in real estate, the key to meeting your sales goals in bean pies and ‘The Final Call’, is location, location, location!”

MADAME SECRETARY

Mideast Peace Talks

“How many times do I have to say it: I did not have sex with Bill Clinton after we conceived Chelsea.”

Alvin Greene Flirting Pornography

“Damn, that white girl’s got a nice ass! I’m Alvin Greene and I approved of this massage!”

Jerry Brown Meg Whitman Whore

Whitman: “Did you just call me a whore?” Brown: “Yes, but I meant it as a compliment.” Whitman: “How is that a compliment?” Brown: “Well, for a manly looking woman such as yourself, the idea of anyone thinking that you could possibly be a whore, is a compliment.” Whitman: “Hmm, I see. How about this: next time we debate, I just kick your old ass as a way of saying ‘thanks for the compliment’?” Brown: “You promise?”

EDITORIAL CARTOONS

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

I’m not a political advisor nor do I play one on TV. However, I feel pretty safe in saying that any candidate whose ad opens with them looking into the camera and stating, “I’m not a witch”, is probably going to lose. 

If you want to see Undercovers, you’d better watch Wednesday’s episode because rumblings are growing that this show is on the verge of being canceled despite being created and produced by J. J. Abrams.

Did Eric Benet lead Halle Berry to swear off brothas forever? I’m just asking.

If the policies of Bush 43 that John “Batman” Boehner and Eric “Robin” Cantor want the country to return were so good, why is it that not one single Republican candidate this fall wants ‘Dubya to campaign for/with them? Also, why did “they” ask Bush to delay the publication date of his memoirs and all interviews and appearances for it until after Election Day (he agreed to)?

Why is it that Yankees hitting coach Kevin Long was able to revamp outfielder Curtis Granderson’s swing mid-season along with getting Nick Swisher’s straightened out and revitalizing Derek Jeter’s down the stretch but, Don Mattingly, the choice to replace outgoing manager Joe Torre, couldn’t do the same for the Dodgers, particularly Matt Kemp?

Maybe it’s just me but, Kenan Thompson looked TOO MUCH like Glee’s Amber Riley during last night’s SNL parody that featured show host Jane Lynch in her Sue Sylvester character.

How the NFL handles and ultimately decides the current Brett Favre “situation” is going to reveal a lot about commissioner Roger Goodell’s  policy about behavior and actions, that while not necessarily illegal, have a negative impact on the league’s image, especially if Favre gets Tigerized by more and more women coming out to accuse him of misbehavior. And the media too, especially Favre’s many apologists, especially at ESPN.

Speaking of the self-proclaimed “worldwide leader”, their unprecedented “all-in” approach to covering the Miami Heat this season ESPN’s ‘Heat Index’ is off-the-charts silly is either going to be a total success or a complete disaster. Either way, it should be a fascinating season to watch unfold.

How can I ask this without appearing racist. Did former Mets GM Omar Minaya bring in too many Latin players during his tenure?

Something to keep an eye on: how long the super-talented and uber-ambitious Lea Michele A diva is born sticks around as a part of Glee’s ensemble cast. Think Farah Fawcett and Chevy Chase after their only seasons on Charlie’s Angels and SNL respectively.

The Yankees, much like the Lakers, are built for the playoffs more so than the regular season.

A couple of seasons ago, there was an incident during the NHL playoffs so egregious, the league changed the rule the next day Avery inspires NHL to change face-guarding rule.  In startling contrast, MLB announced that they will convene a panel on December 3rd to discuss the umpiring problems that continue to plague both the regular season and playoffs. I guess they want to make sure they have more bad calls from this year’s postseason to discuss.

If I’m Justin Timberlake’s record label and band members, I wouldn’t be sitting around waiting for him to hit the recording studio anytime in the near future. Dude’s an ACTOR now!

Antonio Cromartie update: Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie has nine children with eight women 

You know things are bad when Tom Brokaw is advising college graduates to look outside America for jobs. Tom Brokaw tells jobless college grads to find jobs in Asia

Is Meg Whitman trying to lose her race against Jerry “Hello, It’s Me Again” Brown Giuliani stumps for Whitman or?

If God wrote his autobiography, would he record the audio book himself or tap Morgan Freeman to do it?

Finally, just because my mind works this way: What do you think would happen if tomorrow morning, Reverend Jesse L. Jackson, Sr and Minister Louis Farrakhan held a joint press conference in Chicago and endorsed Rahm Emanuel for mayor?

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